The Last Tee
June 29, 2020
As they stand on the final tee the range of emotions felt between three players couldn’t be more contrasting. All faced with the same short par four. At 309 yards and downwind it’s driver and a flick. If only it were that simple!
By this point in the day the group has become disjointed. Dave arrived to the last tee almost a minute before John. He’s been dragging his heels since the 13th trying to dissect where it all went wrong. Steve has just finished another beer after loading up at the halfway house and is now in a back and forth exchange with his missus with the reasons why todays round is still far from over.
Each of these golfers see a very different final hole.
Dave - “The Tour Pro”
First up is Dave, he’s been playing rotten for months but today for whatever reason everything has clicked. Unfortunately, due to this new found form his game has slowed to a snail pace and he’s developed a pre shot routine DeChambeau would be proud of. He hasn’t said a word since he sunk that par putt on 17, he knows he’s on for his first handicap cut for months. In fact, he’s already calculated he’s due a solid 0.5 slashing based on the CSS being levels par. But “knowing his luck” the CSS will be one or even two lower than every week for the last year. He stands behind the ball plotting his route to the final green. The bunkers look like beaches and the fairway is shrinking by the second, the green, what green?!…The flag is in the middle of Alcatraz.
Steve - “The Beer Bandit”
Steve has his ball tee’d up and is ready to go despite Dave watching nervously as his ball meanders down the fairway dodging those black hole bunkers. Since NR’ing at the 8th and cracking his first beer soon after Dave has been hitting long, straight nasty bombs off the tee. He’s playing carefree golf and scoring well. He’s already decided he isn’t hitting range before next week’s round! He’s hitting the bar, to “calm the nerves”. Naturally he’s pulled driver, no practice swing required. Another crushed drive headed straight for the green. His driver is back in the bag and beer in hand before his ball has even landed. He didn’t see any danger off the tee just the flag easily within reaching distance.
John - “The Overthinker”
John has been rehearsing positions within his swing while his playing partners tee’d off. He is an emotional wreck. The steps up to the tee look like Mount Everest and the tee bed resembles a torture chamber. As he stands over the ball he pulls the club back for one final check ”inside, outside, open, closed?!” When it comes to pulling trigger, he can barely bring himself to pull the club back. In a blur he swings off his feet and the ball disappears, followed closely by his driver. The ball isn’t in play but his driver is straight down the middle. He’s lost the plot. Steve is on the floor in fits of laughter while Dave is marching ahead to check how his ball is lying! It’s the final straw John has admitted defeat for today and walks on. As he storms up the fairway declaring he’s sitting next week out he decides to throw one down for practice. He stiffs it from 120 and knocks the putt in…the smile returns and he’s back in love with the beautiful game.
As the three devour their pints in the clubhouse, they agree that this is the reason they keep turning up each week. Enjoying time with the mates after a rubbish week at work or…Steve’s phone ring’s. – It’s been a couple hours since he said he’d be home in an hour. It’s time to fess up and beg for a lift again. He softens the news with the promise of buying a bottle of wine and grabbing a takeaway. As they head their separate ways for the evening John declares he’ll sort the time for next week.
Which one were you this weekend?
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